His tender mercy

Thank you, God, for the Presence of your Son in our lives, and the Holy Spirit that flows between us and Him and each other, helping us communicate and heal in our family.  Amen.

Soul/Spring update

You can see a little more green on the buds of the tree (that represents my soul/life).  Healing abounds.  God is restoring all things, renewing, repairing, replacing, recreating.  God is GOOD.  :)

Thought of B-Boo today because she was thinking of me - that's what I always think when I hear Mercy Me's song, "I Can Only Imagine."  Made me smile and sing out loud.  Thanks, kiddo.

God still has a lot more work to do in our family, but the more we progress, the more I realize he has been with us all along.  I knew that, but now I KNOW that.  I trusted, but now I see that I can trust so much more.

I am still susceptible to anxiety/depression regarding the unknown.  It leads to overeating and difficulty doing the things I love, but I work through it and cling to Jesus.

Got news yesterday from people who can help me find a good, long-term job.  My dear husband is making progress regarding a job.  The sun is warmer, the days are longer, the kids hug more.  Strengths get stronger, weaknesses are accepted and their power diminishes.  Time is healing.

Memorial Day, 2013

 

 

What Faith Can Do

Kutless

 

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Whenever I see your face...

Whenever I see your face (your picture), Boo, I think of you.  Whenever I pray the creed and come to "communion of saints" I think of you.  Whenever I see pink skies, hear the song "I Can Only Imagine" and see a cat, I think of you. 

These are all good thoughts; all good moments.

Always.

Forgiveness

From hurting to healing, peace and joy

I used to live in the present as a way to cope and get through something.  Now I am living in the present as a way of life because there is peace and joy there and I am living each moment fully - an abundant life.  This is a blessing I have reaped from my recent trial, a huge blessing.  I have yet to see the many ways it is transforming me.

Whenever I am stressed and find myself slipping into the past or growing anxious about the future, I draw right back to the present filled with an abundance of blessings and grace.  There I live in His Presence and I am filled with peace and joy.

Thank you, Jesus.  Never let me be separated from you.

Waiting for spring

I see the buds on our tree of life, and I know that soon those buds will slowly open, but they haven't yet, and so I watch.

The imagery is so promising.  All in God's time.

God's time.  That is where I live.  Now.  In the present...and in doing so, in the Presence.  Because that is where God lives.

At first I had a notion that I would just do this to survive until all the pieces of my life fit neatly together again.  But, first of all, life is messy.  Did it ever fit together so neatly?  No.

Secondly, there is peace and joy in the present.  I am tired of worrying about the future.  I am certainly not going to live in the past.  So I live now.

I could be impatient for those buds to burst open, but for now, they are beautiful as they are and I know they will be even more beautiful when they, in God's time, blossom.  For now, the present is best.

Amen.

Bipolar

Offering up my mood disorder for all in my heart and on my heart and those who cross my mind.  For abundant blessings, His peace and restoration, complete and total healing, the writing of blessed endings with crooked lines and love and joy.

Thanking God for my abundant blessings.

Singing an act of faith

"Bring The Rain"

by Mercy Me

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I've gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It's never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there'll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that's what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what's a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

Jesus cover me in your love and warm me by the fire of your heart.

Sunshine.  Hot coffee.  Warm bucket shower.  Mio.  Hugs.  Family.  Cat therapy.  The prayers of friends.  Open doors and windows when it comes to the next steps to take in our marriage.  All these things warm me, give me hope, soothe my soul, strengthen my thankfulness and just awe me.  He has been by me the whole way, every step, never failing to lift me, love me, protect me, provide for me, comfort me, BE with me.

Jesus, my love, how I have feared!

And, yet, You do not fail me.

In my miserableness I turn to you through all the little tokens of love you provide that should show me your Presence, and they do, but fear and anxiety blind.  And, yet, I turn to You.  Help me.  Protect me.  Never permit me to be separated from You.

And You have heard and answered each time.  Each time.

I want to love You with all the love and trust You deserve.  Without reservation.  What will be will be.  It will be in Your hands and You will protect me from all harm and draw forth goodness from it all.

Help me grow in my love for You.

Help me grow in my Love for You.

Help me grow in love with You.

Jesus, my love.  Thank you for it all.  Everything.  The bitterness.  The agony.  The glory and the resurrection.

Bless me.  Protect me.  Heal me.  Call me forward to be the woman you have created me to be.

And let my light shine, my salt taste.  My heart overflow - always - with love and gratitude.

Amen.

Is Easter energizing you?

The Church bulletin said:  How have you been energized by Easter?

And I thought, "I don't have the energy to be energized."

But thinking about what Easter means in all ways, really is energizing...and comes not a moment too soon or too late in my life right now.

Think about it for just a moment. How is Easter energizing you in your vocation?

For me it is helping me keep Jesus central as the reason I live and breathe. Slowly, it seems to be giving me the strength I need to plod forward. I just keep drawing back to the empty tomb and I have not yet plummeted the depths of what that means in my life right now and how it changes things.

Is life happening to you? Or are you being energized by the resurrection and then happening in life rather than it happening to you?

I feel like Easter is a glowing, polished gem that I have closed in my hands and I keep peeking at it and the light is sooooo brilliant, I can't take it all in at once and need to take little peeks at a time.

Praise You In This Storm

"Praise You In This Storm"
Casting Crowns

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus:]
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

[Chorus]

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Time for a song.

Thinking of my Boo today.  Oh, my beloved little girl!  I love you so very much.  Pray for Daddy right now.  He is interviewing for another job.  Whisper in sweet Jesus' ear to do what He and only He can.  Have Him send the Holy Spirit to guide Daddy and encourage others to see how good Daddy would be for this job but, as always, God's will be done.

Thank you for continuing to pray for our family.  We love you, kiddo.

Now for a song...

It's definitely lent.

Due in part to the circumstances of my life and also due to lent, I am seeing myself with more clarity. It is a little frightening and very humbling.

I wouldn't say I am worthless, but unworthy (in respect to God).

I wouldn't say that I am dumb, but I do need training, skills and experience.

I gave almost 20 years of my life to staying home and caring for the kids. I don't think I did as good of a job with the house as I did with the kids, and I failed them at times, too, but I am left discerning the value of it now. Pure gold, but not gold that will provide me temporal necessities. I am starting from scratch.

I have lived dependent on others.

My circumstances and lent are leaving me feeling stripped naked. Going to ponder that, ponder Christ stripped naked, offer it up and share in His humility.

I am feeling the season.

How about you?

St. Joseph, pray for us.

St. Joseph, protect my children as you protected Jesus.
Protect me as you protected Our Lady.
Protect my husband from his nightmares.  I entrust him into your care.

Please, St. Joseph, pray for our temporal needs right now as well as our spiritual needs. 

Amen.